Would you rather be a woman's considered purchase or her impulse buy?

HINT: Would you rather wait a month to get laid or would you rather be having sex right now?


Marketers have long understood that people buy different types of products in different ways. Some purchases require some thought, maybe some research. Others are “impulse buys.” Consider a woman at a grocery store. In the cereal aisle she picks up a brightly colored box. She reads the contents, checks the calories, maybe the amount of sugar and the price. She puts that box back on the shelf and picks up a different brand, repeating the process. Finally she makes her choice, puts it in the cart and moves on to the next aisle. The next time she’s in this aisle, she may simply buy the same brand again, or you may see her examining multiple brands before making her choice. This is a considered purchase for her.

But watch that woman when she gets to the checkout line. She grabs a pack of gum and throws it on the conveyor belt. No real examination of contents, price or anything else. She grabs it and the decision is made. This is an impulse buy.

It’s the same way with online dating/sex sites. The traditional sites are set up to make you a “considered purchase” for her. You answer questions. You fill out compatibility surveys. You write essay questions about who you are and what you want. You give them more information than even the IRS would ask you. By the time she writes her first word to you, she knows: your height, your body type, your eye color, your hair color, your age, your birth date, whether you’ve ever been married, if you have any kids, whether they’re living with you, what part of town you live in, your hobbies, your pets, the industry you work within, what you like to do on a date and a variety of other things you may choose to share about yourself. On some sites she even knows all of your sexual proclivities and/or your yearly salary. She approaches that site with a long-term plan: she joins, she carefully fills out everything, and then starts reading the notes she gets from the thousands (yes, thousands) of men trying to get her attention, with the intention of studying each one, and responding to the ones that seem like the best prospects. She then starts going out on dates with the expectation of finding the perfect long-term partner.

The very fact that a dating/sex site presents so much information about you to a potential date creates the assumption that all of this information is important and needs to be taken into account. I mean, honestly, do you really care about her eye color or what she does for a living? No. But she is paying careful attention to every bit of information she sees on you, and making judgments with each new factoid.

So you have already been examined, probed and investigated before she even bothers to communicate with you. And if you’re almost her perfect match, except you’re an inch shorter than she’d like, or she’d really like to find someone with a different eye color, she moves on without so much as a hint that she might have been interested. Most women know they can find someone a little more perfect if they just keep looking. She owes it to herself to be picky!

But CL is the ONLY effective place online where you can position yourself as her “impulse purchase.” She finds herself at home and bored, more than a little horny, so she gets on CL to see who she can meet and have fun with tonight. Yes, there is a pretty good chance she’d rather be in a completely satisfying long-term relationship right now, but it takes a great deal of time and effort to get to that point, and she wants to have some fun tonight. It’s time for her to grab an impulse purchase and put it on the checkout counter!

So now she has no need to see a full explanation of who you are and what you are all about. You don’t have to commit yourself to a single deep exposition into your heart and soul that every woman will read, contemplate and judge. Now, when you’re on CL, you are just the words crafted in a response to her post, specifically for that woman to see. Or you are the words in your own ad, created to appeal directly to one kind of woman who will read what you have written and react with an email telling you she is interested, and interested NOW. With each communication, you will position yourself as exactly the man she is looking for tonight. She wants to go grab a drink at that new bar that opened up and then “see what happens from there”? What a coincidence! You were already planning on going there tonight! She needs someone who can please her orally over and over all night long? Perfect! That’s your specialty! She wants someone she can tie down and use however she likes? Wonderful! You can even bring the rope!

Your long-term goals, your career, your history, everything she would focus on if you were a considered purchase, it’s all irrelevant. Because now you’re an impulse buy. Just be fun, honest and safe, and you will get laid.


(This is an excerpt from the new hit book, Secrets of the Craigslist Conqueror: An Expert's Guide to Getting Laid on Craigslist. Would you like to read more? Go here.)