Still waiting for that “platonic friend” to notice you’re perfect for her? (PART II)

So you’re in love with her, but she says the two of you can only be friends. As I established in PART I of this blog entry, once she gives you the “just friends” designation, you’re probably never going to be anything more. I say “probably” because I have witnessed exactly ONE method that can change everything.

Contrary to what you’ve seen in the movies, trying the direct approach – romantically confessing your undying love for her – isn’t going to make her suddenly realize that she has feelings for you. Most women are at least somewhat in touch with their feelings and don’t need a heartfelt confession to realize what is truly in their hearts. So if you try what you’ve seen in the movies, you’re going to end up looking pathetic to her, and you will walk away thinking you’re a complete loser. Don’t believe me? Ask ANY guy who has actually tried it. Or even better try it yourself and let me know how it works out for you.

THE SOLUTION
There is one way to build your image in her eyes so that you MIGHT have a chance at happiness with her in the future. It can change her feelings for you, but even if it doesn’t, it will forever change (for the better) how you feel about yourself.

STEP ONE: Find women who DO want you.
Notice I didn’t say “find a woman.” I said find WOMEN. It’s not hard to do, here’s how. You will need four to seven of them, depending on how much energy you have. You don’t want so many women in your life that you’re short-changing any of them. Make sure you have the energy and the time to satisfy each one of them, and they will each come back again and again. You want to have a different woman for every mood, a different woman for each night of the week.

Be completely honest with each of them about what you’re looking for: just some fun, no strings, no relationships, but also allow yourself to be open to more if everything feels right. You won’t have the type of feelings for any of these women that you have for your “friend” (at least not at first). None of them has to seem as perfect or as beautiful to you as your “friend” (although at least of couple of them will be if you do this right).

STEP TWO: Explore!
Use this time to explore every sexual fantasy you’ve ever had, and to learn about every type of woman you can meet. Discover what you love best about each type of woman, what you love most about every type of sex and everything you love about yourself. Most men never give themselves the opportunity for the type of exploration that comes from having a group of friends with benefits available. They miss out on learning much about pleasing women and pleasing themselves. Use this time wisely.

STEP THREE: Just walk around.
Have you ever known someone who was once extremely overweight, then lost every pound of it and is now incredibly fit? They walk with an amazing sense of pride and confidence. Even if you never knew them when they were overweight, you can absolutely sense their confidence now.

It’s the same way with men who know they can find a new woman at any time, and who know they are able to sexually please any woman they meet. Suddenly, women aren’t such a mystery anymore. Now YOU get to be the mystery. As you go about your life, everyone will sense your newfound confidence. They will sense it in the way you walk, the way you talk and in the way you regard yourself. You will be asked if you got a new haircut, or if you’ve been working out. People won’t be able to figure out exactly what it is, but they will feel that you’ve changed something about yourself for the better.

Everyone will see it. Coworkers, friends, family … even the one who feels you’re “just friends.”

And – contrary to what some screenwriters would have you believe – the woman who thinks of you as “just a friend” doesn’t need to see you with any of these new women to make you seem more attractive. That won’t change anything. It will be your newfound confidence that makes all the difference.

It’s the type of confidence that can never be faked. Either you’ve given yourself the experiences you need to feel that confidence, or you haven’t. And once you’ve gained that confidence, you can’t ever lose it.

STEP FOUR: Enjoy!
So what happens next? Anything is possible. In some cases the girl who wanted nothing from you but friendship begins to sense something different about you … although she may not be able to identify it. But as your self confidence increases, so will her attraction to you. If her previous decisions were based on the certainty that she could always take your attention for granted, she will quickly learn that she has lost most (possibly all?) of your attention. She will then need to make some new decisions to get your attention back.

In some cases she will never completely change her mind about you. But do you know what you will quickly discover about yourself? You will learn that, above anything else, you deserve a woman who wants you. You will discover that you deserve a woman who wants you in every way, a woman who would never consider insulting you by saying all she wants to be is your “friend.”

You will realize that any woman who still wants to be “just friends” with you doesn’t deserve a place in your life. You will have grown. You will demand better for yourself. And you will get it.

And guess what! You will now have several really awesome women in your life who already see you as more than a friend. And if you don’t feel any of them are perfect for you, you now know how to find more.

Still waiting for that “platonic friend” to notice you’re perfect for her? (PART I)

It’s known as “oneitis.” It’s the feeling every man comes to know at least once in his life when he falls in love with a woman who regularly tells him she loves him too … but only “as a friend.”

This is also the one non-Craigslist-related question I get asked most often: How do I turn a girl from a friend into something more?

Researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire have come to the rescue with some fresh insight. They surveyed the opposite-sex relationships of more than 400 adults, ranging in age from 18-52. Their findings offer some important scientific observations on which any man can make some important decisions.

FINDING #1: “Attraction in friendship is happening, and it’s persistent,” says lead author April Bleske-Rechek, associate professor of psychology. “In the majority of (opposite-sex) friendships there’s at least a low level of attraction. And if it’s coming more from one friend than the other, it’s probably the guy.”

FINDING #2: Men reported more attraction to their female friends than women did to their male friends; men overestimated their friend’s level of attraction to them, while women underestimated attraction; and men reported a stronger desire to date their friend than did women.

FINDING #3: The men assumed that the women were more sexually interested in them than they actually were – and the women tended not to realize this.

So what does this mean for the guy who is helplessly in love with a girl who only “loves” him back as a friend? It means this:

Regardless of how many love songs a guy hears or how many movies he sees in which friends become lovers, it’s rarely something that happens in real life. Once a girl decides a friendship is platonic, a guy’s fate in usually sealed.

So does a guy have any chance at all in making a friend into something more?

Yes. In some situations, there IS a chance of changing the entire dynamic. Check my next blog entry for more about how this can actually work.

Three perfectly logical (but completely wrong) reasons the Craigslist Conqueror methods couldn’t possibly find hot women for sex

One of the great things about my experience as an author is that I get to tell my story all the time, usually to audiences that have never heard it. When I explain how a bald, broke, overweight guy slept with more than 120 beautiful, sexy women over 18 months, I am generally greeted with two responses:

1. Wow, that is awesome. Maybe any regular guy can have the sex life of a rock star.
2. Liar!!!!!!

While I appreciate that first response, it’s easy for me to understand the people who gravitate toward the second one. After all, each of our life experiences tells us that it’s highly improbable for a shy, unattractive guy with no money to attract beautiful, sexy women who just want to have sex with him. So it’s probably impossible for that same guy to get on Craigslist, meet 150+ sexy, attractive women and have sex with 120+ of them. After all, we all “know” several things that make this story impossible:

1. Craigslist is just so … creepy! Nothing of any value could happen there.
2. Attractive women don’t need to go to Craigslist to get laid.
3. A guy who is a “5” will never get a woman who is a “10.”

If any of these three assumptions are true, then every part of my methods must be impossible. Right? Not so fast. Here’s why:

1. Craigslist is just so … creepy! Nothing of any value could happen there.
Craigslist itself is just a forum where everyone who participates can be completely anonymous. That anonymity sometimes allows people to act in creepy, vulgar and sometimes even illegal ways, and you certainly need to be careful of those people. Fortunately, those people are pretty open about their creepiness, vulgarity and/or illegality, so they’re not too hard to identify and avoid.
However, it’s that same anonymity that makes Craigslist perfect for attractive, educated women who want to explore their dirtiest, most taboo fantasies. That same beautiful woman you keep trying to attract on a traditional dating site may have fantasies that she would never consider sharing any place where she’s not completely anonymous. So she’s on Craigslist, anonymously looking for a “Master,” a “Dom,” a “Daddy,” a “sub” or anything else that feels too dirty to look for on a site where she has to fill out a profile. Will she ever admit her fantasies to most people? No. She won’t even admit that she’s ever been on Craigslist. But the guys using the Craigslist Conqueror methods aren’t just attracting her attention … they’re meeting her and living out her wildest sexual fantasies.

2. Attractive women don’t have to go to Craigslist to get laid.
This is 100% true. No attractive woman needs any website to get laid. But then, NO WOMAN I’VE EVER MET ON CRAIGSLIST JUST NEEDED TO GET LAID. Each attractive woman who is on Craigslist is looking for a VERY specific experience. That experience is NEVER about just getting laid. It’s about fulfilling a fantasy that no man in her life has been able to offer. Usually these are simple fantasies to fulfill, if you just pay attention, but most men don’t. If you can offer her the EXACT experience she’s looking for, if you can communicate it in a way that wraps her in her fantasy and makes her believe she will finally experience it, and if you can make her feel safe doing it, she will be on her way over to your place just a few hours after your first contact with her.
Of course if you want to prove that you can only find unattractive, desperate women on Craigslist, you can do that too. Instead of wrapping a woman in a fantasy, just offer her a chance to get laid. And include a picture of your crotch.

3. A guy who is a “5” will never get a woman who is a “10.”
This is also 100% true … in dating. A guy who isn’t attractive, wealthy or special in any way usually isn’t going to get a date with the prom queen. But this is NOT dating. This is fantasy fulfillment. She’s not planning to introduce you to her friends and family. She’s not going to consider coming home to you every day for the rest of her life. But … if you convince her that you can safely fulfill her deepest fantasy, she will come over to your place, she will experience the sexual fantasy she has always wanted to fulfill … and then she will go home. If she enjoys herself, she may be back. Your looks aren’t a factor in the same way they would be if she was looking for a life partner, or even if she was just looking for someone to take to parties. If you fall short of dating material and you’ve gotten her excited enough about her fantasy, she will come over and give you a night you’ll look back on fondly for the rest of your life.

Don’t believe me? Listen to a few of the guys who have tried the Craigslist Conqueror methods. Or you can just try it for yourself!

How do you distinguish the spam from the real women on Craigslist?

This is another question I get all the time. Answering this one is vital to any man’s success on Craigslist. There is a LOT of spam on Craigslist. Every fake ad and every fake email exists to talk you into spending $40 or more on a monthly subscription to a dating/sex/porno site instead of finding what you’re really there for.

Why? Because your average spammer, using nothing but a server and a few thousand IP addresses can make over a million dollars a year spamming Craigslist. The question is this: do you want to help a spammer get rich, or do you want to meet a woman? If you want to meet a real woman, read on.

To most guys using Craigslist for the first time, the spam looks no different from the real thing. Guys who don’t know what to look for can spend entire nights doing nothing but responding to spam. But there is a secret to avoiding all of the spam!

THE SECRET THAT SPAMMERS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW

Every fake ad on Craigslist and every fake email response was generated weeks before you read them. The act of posting spam ads and sending out spam emails is completely automated. The spammers have clever tricks to make you think you’re talking to a real girl, but there is no technology created yet that will trick you if you knows most of the spammers’ tricks.

I devoted an entire chapter to recognizing and avoiding spam in my book, and if you keep in mind everything I coach you through, you will avoid 95-98% of the spam on Craigslist.

In case you’re here looking for a couple of quick tips, here are two that will allow you to recognize and eliminate nearly half of the spam coming your way:

• When you’re responding to women’s posts, don’t bother responding to anything that is more than 35-40 minutes old. There are many of reasons for that, and they’re all in the book.
• When a woman responds to one of your posts, if she sends you a link to ANY site, she is spam. I have probably met more women than any other man on Craigslist, and NEVER ONCE did a real woman send me the link to a site other than Facebook. And on those occasions when she DID send me to Facebook, it wasn’t until we had sent several emails back and forth.

These are just two of my 20 Rules of Spam, found in Secrets of the Craigslist Conqueror. Each rule is simple and easy to remember. Follow them, and while other guys waste the night replying to “girls” who just want to sell them expensive subscriptions to dating/sex/porn sites, you’ll be able to devote all of your attention to finding the real women, wrapping them in their fantasies and living those fantasies!

Can this method work in a conservative city?

This is another question I get almost every day. Women in conservative areas, particularly in the south, seem somehow too conservative to fit most of the profiles of Craigslist women I write about in my book. While liberal areas usually offer the very best environment to find women open to fulfilling their fantasies, women in the most conservative cities still offer a great deal of opportunity.

Every woman has a sexual fantasy, regardless of where she lives. Some can communicate those fantasies to a partner who will listen and respond appropriately, but some can’t. The women who can’t communicate their fantasies still need a place where they can consider fulfilling those fantasies where they can remain anonymous. And the most popular place in the world for that is Craigslist. Even in a conservative town. Just wrap a woman in her fantasy, getting her wetter and wetter with each word, letting her know she’s safe and that you can create an environment where she won’t be judged, she will speed over to your place to do EVERYTHING you describe.

Now imagine that same woman, but instead of on Craigslist, you meet her at a party, club or bar where she has friends, co-workers, maybe even family around. Is she going to share her dirtiest fantasies there? With a guy she has just met? A guy who may judge her or laugh at her or embarrass her, especially in such a conservative environment? What if, in this fantasy, she is completely the opposite of the image she tries to portray to the rest of the world? She can’t afford to share that with you, or with anyone. So she keeps this fantasy as one of her deepest, darkest secrets forever … until one day she finds a place where she can investigate this fantasy completely anonymously … and that’s where you come in!

I believe that, in many cases, the more conservative a woman’s upbringing and environment, the harder she’ll work to push down her fantasies. So … when she finally does find a place where she can anonymously explore her fantasies … watch out!

Does this method work for guys in their 50s?

It’s one of the most frequent questions I get: Will the Craigslist Conqueror methods work for guys in their 50s?

The quick answer: Yes it does. Thank you for asking!

The longer answer:

These methods work well for any man, regardless of his age. In fact, the Craigslist Conqueror methods might offer older men the best chance of success. The fact is that there are certain fantasies that a man in his 50s and 60s and even into his 70s can offer a woman in her 20s, 30s and 40s that a young man in his mid 20s can’t. Think of some of the most taboo fantasies such as Daddy/daughter, professor/student, Boss/ employee, etc. Every woman who has these fantasies knows they’re extremely taboo, and because of that, they often won’t act on these fantasies for years. Add the fact that it’s rare for women to have men in their social circles who are 20-40 years older than them, so even if the taboo was somehow removed, it might still be a challenge for them to fulfill these fantasies with a legitimately older man.

By not acting on their fantasies, over the years those fantasies just get dirtier and dirtier in a woman’s mind until an older man comes along, offering her a safe place — physically and emotionally — to live out everything she’s ever imagined. Once she finds that older man, she will release years of wanting, of fantasizing, of need.

It’s important to note fantasies don’t necessarily require an older man that is great looking or in great shape, just an older man who makes her feel safe.

Can you rise to the level of making her feel safe? If you can, then yes, this method will definitely work for you. Thanks for asking!

(For more on this subject, go here!)